A Passionate Love Affair

My love affair with blogging has reached a three year itch (and the discharge is gettin' stinky too). For three years I have been a blogging slut, and quite a promiscuous one at that. I've had a tripod blog, five MSN Spaces blogs, two Mindsay blogs, a few wordpress blogs, and five or six Blogger blogs (I lost count). I suppose now I am officially a whore. You still need to kiss me first-- be a gentleman (or a lady, whichever you are).

Thank you dah-ling. We continue...

I know the relationship with this blog has been hot and heavy in it's brevity, but I'm at a point where I guess I just don't like blogging anymore. Maybe I do. I bet I do. I'm sure I do. It's like... like when you just don't feel like having sex. *gasp-she didn't!* Don't pretend it doesn't happen to you. Except you *wags a finger at one in the crowd* You always have that on your brain. You know who you are. Everybody else--even you men--I know you don't want sex all the time. You're not fooling me.

I'm not fooling you either. I have a confession. I have been cheating on you. He's handsome, a good provider, and has all the buttons I love to fondle and his name is Little Ozzie. We spent the weekend together; a good time was had by all.

Straight into the action we attempted to recreate a favorite pose.

We found a cock.

But I think we ruffled the feathers of the Missus.

We discovered a smoking hawt car,

spilled seed,

and pollination.

Followed by a long drag off a burning ciggie.

Blogging doesn't have this much allure. It doesn't satisfy me as it once it. It hasn't wooed me in ages, and when was the last time I got a flower for just being fabulous me?! Huh? Huh?

Thought so.

It seems I'm not alone either. Many of my fellow sluts bloggers have also discovered their own personal version of writing impotence. Fear not, fellow whores writers, as long as we are virus free (*cough, ahem*) we should be able to perform as usual once our muse comes to inspire us.

But it still makes me wonder if I just need a different perspective*.

Or, eh, maybe I really don't know Jack.

(Is this his blog or his pulpit?)

Perhaps. But this is one love affair I'm enjoying to it's fullest. I have happiness, I have passion, and I have grrrratification. You can't expect me to give it all up just so I can whore about on the internet again. Oh, what's that? You can? You do? Only I have to share Little Ozzie with you?

Okay, I think I can manage a ménage à trois ... just for you though.





*This print is available for sale through RedBubble.

What You're Missing

I was just chuckling in my email archives over some of the things I've said to my friends. Here's a quick taste of what Sue is like off the blog:


I sent my friend a bar of Turkish Delight

Friend:

hey, I just ate your turkish delight. [it] said this is "an
exotic taste sensation." hehehe. you are a sensation.

I reply:

You ate my what?!

***************************

Friend:
glad you got a laugh out of the 'pleasures' quote/card. that tickled me, too.
you are a delight to know

Me:
It tickled you? Really? Where can I get a card like that?!

Can't Keep Them Off of my Mind

I was surprised to find The Free Dictionary had a short list of idioms with the word 'breast' in them. How amusing!

Then I stumbled upon an article that discusses giving female video game characters more realistic boob bounce called "Jiggle Physics". Josh will be interested in that.

Interested in the origin of the word 'boob'?

I was wondering what my blog would have been like if I had thought up Armor All's Slogan: Go Ahead. Stare. I just wasn't that quick or clever.

What if I could get some really awesome theme songs? First choice: You Sexy Thing? Huh? Huh? Ow! Now when you hear that song you will think of my blog, right?

Noooo, noooo, I've got one BETTER. You see, I must have been a beautiful baby, you know? T'is yet another song to be permanently engraved in your memory alongside my blog. I know you agree with me on that. When I was nineteen and working my first factory gig I befriended a man twenty years my senior who sang this to me on several occasions. Man, he creeped me out sometimes, but that song stuck by me.

Of course, hearing both of those songs swings me into sexy little kitten mood, and I don't mean by way of the pussycat dolls. Think Tom Jones and his famous oldie.

Isn't it a good thing I'm not writing about my backside? You might disagree, Sir Mix-a-lot, but I don't like having cleavage on two sides of my body. Noooo thank you.

My poor husband has listened to me clicking on all of those songs. Click, "Sexy Thing" plays, wife giggles. Click, "Beautiful Baby" plays, more giggles, click, Tom Jones croons, girls in video scream, I say "I don't know what they're screaming at, all he did was wiggle his butt!", and now? I'm listening to a song about big butts (and I cannot lie). Hrm.

You Guys Rock!

I am so tickled to see everybody's comments in my break post! :-) See me smiling? :-D Bigger!?

As it turns out, both my body and my computer have forced me to spend less time online. My body has been slowed down on fatigue and migraines and all sorts of minor things all at once. I've got an appointment with my doc tomorrow to sort it out, hopefully. Maybe it's just stress catching up with me.

As for my computer. Ugh. The monitor is on it's last pixel. We have a six inch wide band down the middle of it that is distorted, dimmed, and out of focus. The type in this band is hard to read and spread out, but the outer edges are all in focus, bright, and squished. Nothing I do with the settings (monitor settings or the desktop display, not that I expected the latter to work) has corrected the issue. This monster is about ten years old anyway. I was looking for a good excuse to find a flat screen.

I am, however, quite cheap frugal, so I'd prefer to find something used and less expensive. Anybody got an old monitor lying about you don't use anymore? I'll gladly take it off your hands for you!

With this lack of computer time (honestly, it hurts to try to read on this screen), I have been forced to do things I have been putting off, like cleaning my house (check!), playing with Little Ozzie, reading Odd Thomas for the third time (in the process as I just bought a new copy), and shampooing the carpet and upholstery (getting there today actually). Not only that, but I've had some time to just rest my bones and relax. Oddly enough, that motivated me to start exercising more.

Blah, blah, blah. Are you even listening to me? What did I just write? Hmmm? (If I could I would have cocked an eyebrow at you.)

I'm aware that I started to ramble there. Sorry about that. I've got a few posts scheduled for the next few days, so I hope you'll enjoy them. I remembered I had some drafts waiting so I polished them up for you.

Hope you all have a fantabulous day!